Tagged: Mixtape

Six Years in San Francisco: A Soundtrack and a ‘So Long’

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I love San Francisco, which is why I’m content to say… I’m leaving it. Today, March 3rd, marks my 6-year anniversary in this beautiful city. In six days, I’ll be on a one-way flight to NYC.

Over the course of my six years here, I often had to fight my (somewhat tormenting and romanticized) nomadic tendencies.

My first year in San Francisco was the worst. Having come back to the states after a few years overseas, I was depressed by normalcy. My identity as an explorer had expired. I was just like everyone else, and what a painful reality that came to be.

I had a 9-5 job with a bus commute full of men in suits. I bought a smartphone, and to my dismay, found myself looking at it rather than people in the eyes. Two years in, I was aching to leave.

I made a plan and put together a list of things I had to see before I left for NYC. But it dawned on me: Why not always have this mentality? Why not live with joy and a sense of urgency as if I’m always about to lose this city? So I stayed because saying sayonara felt too soon. Plus, I needed to learn how to stay put and be happy. Something I wasn’t used to.

Then, I met someone.

One year later, that someone broke my heart in a million ways plus one. And while he lived across the bridge and the city was “mine,” the idea of even existing in the same state seemed unbearable.

I made a plan and compiled a list of Brooklyn neighborhoods to live in. But, it dawned on me: People aren’t perfect, and I still seemingly loved that heartbreaker of mine. So I decided to stay and see if things could be forgiven with time.

One year later, to paraphrase Mariah Carey, that heartbreaker got the best of me and I should’ve have known right from the start he’d go and break my heart…again.

The break up sucked, and a new city seemed like the perfect remedy. But, I’d just started a new job, at a startup no less. Leaving wasn’t an option, as much as I wanted it to be.

In two years’ time, I came through to the other side. I no longer wanted to run from San Francisco (though, of course, it was never the city I was running from). I loved it, even.

I also feel incredibly lucky to have shared this city with my beautiful sister and best friend. A city that taught me how to vogue, DJ a radio show, make a film, dance ballet, let loose at a show, start a blog, enjoy long walks, and most importantly, how to find adventure and love in just one spot.

Only now do I feel as if I can leave this city’s arms. Because I know they’ll always be open, and I’ll forever be happy to jump back into them when or if the time comes. But why am I leaving at all? While I’ve learned my lesson, living in New York has always been a dream. And, I don’t like to make a habit of regretting things.

So, to celebrate the last six years, I’ve decided to create a soundtrack – One that includes my top 6 most listened to jams from each of the 6 years I spent in SF (2011-2017). These jams may not be brand new, but they’re still amazing, and will always remind me of you.

So long, SF.

2011

  • Mozart’s Sister – Don’t Leave it to Me
  • Austra – Lose it
  • Class Actress – Love Me Like You Used to
  • Grimes – Crystal Ball
  • Elite Gymnastics – Omamori
  • Twin Sister – Bad Street

2012

  • Grimes – Genesis
  • Vacationer – Good as New
  • Purity Ring – Obedear
  • How to Dress Well – & it Was You
  • Charli XCX – Nuclear Seasons
  • Tennis – My Better Self

2013

  • Unknown Mortal Orchestra – So Good a Being in Trouble
  • Helado Negro – Dance Ghost
  • No Joy – Hare Tarot Lies
  • Angel Olsen – The Waiting
  • K-X-P – Easy
  • Blood Orange – You’re Not Good Enough

2014

  • St. Vincent – Prince Johnny
  • Trust – Capitol
  • Rickey Eat Acid – It Will Draw Me Over to it Like it Always Does
  • Tirzah – Inside Out
  • Hundred Waters – Show Me Love
  • Black Milk – Dirt Bells

2015

  • Widowspeak – All Yours
  • Julien Baker – Something
  • Prince Rama – Bahia
  • Grimes – Kill v. Maim
  • Empress Of – Everything is You
  • Unknown Mortal Orchestra – Ur Life One Night

2016

  • Mitski – Your Best American Girl
  • Woods – Can’t See At All
  • Banks – Gemini Feed
  • Julie Byrne – Natural Blue
  • Julia Jacklin – Pool Party
  • Beyonce – Don’t Hurt Yourself (feat. Jack White) (not on Spotify, sorry) / Subbing in with Miya Folick – Pet Body

2017

  • Austra – Future Politics
  • Sampha – Plastic 100°C
  • Temples – Certainty
  • Future Pelo – Swamp
  • Jens Lekman – What’s that Perfume That You Wear?
  • Tei Shi – Keep Running …. Fitting? 😉

p.s. The featured image/picture is one I took of Sutro Tower from my backyard – What a gloriously breathtaking city.

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